1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would
practically die if asked to pray out loud.
2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or
a hymn with more than four stanzas.
3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital,
even if they don't notify them that they are there.
4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is
their way of suffering for their sins.
5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles,
especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when
passing the plate.
6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their
children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.
7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them
from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.
8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the
9. Some Lutherans still believe that the
marriage of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in
America and the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod
make for a mixed marriage. And when and where I grew up in
Minnesota, intermarriage between the two was about as popular as
Lutherans and Catholics marrying.
10. Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to
clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.
11. Lutherans are willing to pay up to one
dollar for a meal at church.
12. Lutherans think that Garrison Keillor
stories are totally factual.
13. Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper
liturgical color of the season and think that peas
in a tuna noodle casserole add a little too
14. Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke
fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.
And finally, you know you're a Lutheran
It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity and you still have coffee after
You hear something really funny during the
sermon and smile as loudly as you can.
Donuts are a line item in the church budget,
just like coffee.
The communion cabinet is open to all, but the
coffee cabinet is locked up tight.
*When you watch a 'Star Wars' movie and they
'May the Force be with you', you respond, 'and also with you'.